Dear Young Bri Bri

Dear Young Bri Bri
Photo by Diego San / Unsplash

Dear Young Bri Bri,

Being the child of emotionally stunted parents is traumatizing. You're not going to realize this until your thirties but, for now, just know you'll get through this.

She'll yell and scream, give you the silent treatment, and accuse you of being out to get her. He'll drink a bottle of wine, fall asleep in the recliner, and pretend he doesn't see what she does to you.

She'll lie to you, manipulate you, yet make out to her friends that you are the perfect family. He'll keep his mouth shut.

She'll rage around the house for no discernible reason while you cower in your room praying you don't hear the footsteps get closer. He'll go golfing.

She'll tell you a note she found in your backpack from a boy makes her want to smother you in your sleep. You'd lock your door if you could but they won't put a lock on your bedroom door so the bathroom is all you have. He'll go away for work.

She'll walk around the house naked well into your young adulthood and bang the bathroom door down if you dare lock it while taking a shower. He'll pretend he doesn't notice.

She'll comment on your developing body to your face and to anyone else who will listen. He'll say that's woman stuff and none of his business.

She'll threaten to stop buying you school clothes if you gain any more weight and make you join Weight Watchers as the only teenager in the group. He'll secretly take you for McDonalds and make fun of her in the car.

She'll scream when you decide to question your Catholic upbringing, but won't have any answers when you question the bible you've read more than she ever has. He'll wear the Mercy Me t-shirts she buys.

She'll insist you sing for your visiting aunt and chase you into your room when you run due to crippling shyness. She'll try to hold the door shut...because it doesn't lock...and you'll break several of her nails when you rip the door open, refusing to be trapped. He won't know because she threatened your life if you told him.

She'll ask why you don't want her to hug you anymore. You'll be enraged at her audacity.

She'll beg you to stay in her life and remember all the good times. He'll say you just don't understand what family means.

She'll send random Christmas gifts and birthday texts. He'll write you off.

You'll go no-contact and make your own family. Sometimes it's rough. Sometimes it's wonderful. You'll never feel whole, but you'll feel more peace than you ever knew growing up.

To anyone out there who is struggling with a narcissistic person in your life, remember, "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb." That's the whole quote. Life is short. Don't let your abusers dictate who you are or who you will become.

Love,
Future Bri Bri